I am usually well aware of how blessed I am that I have my wonderful daughter.
Many days I feel I don’t deserve her or that I’m failing her.
Today was one of those days.
A flare day.
A day where I hurt so bad that I don’t even want to get out of bed to take care of myself, much less another human being. But I drag myself out of my bed and make myself do the best I can.
But it’s tiring and I end up paying for it because I push myself.
Today, DD reminded me just how blessed I am.
When I pushed myself so hard that I finally just kind of had to stop and crawl into the spare bed we keep in her playroom and lie down while talking to her and watching her play. My beautiful little girl started bringing her toys to me so we could keep playing. Of course the toy she brought me is this giant VTech castle that is bigger than she is so momma had to step in and suggest other (smaller) toys that we could play with on the bed.
Now she’s cozy in her bed and I can hear her little snores now and then through the monitor.
I still hurt all over and feel like absolute dirt. I feel underappreciated and overworked. I feel stressed by bills and work and school. I feel sometimes like we’re never going to get ahead. We barely have a savings account some months and we’re supposed to be saving for college for her while going to college ourselves.
But I’m blessed.
Today reminded me.